Rushing with Oils

I have decided to challenge myself. I know that I can re-create a photograph down to the last detail. But why create something that already exists? I can draw pretty well. And I have an idea of the type of things I want to paint. The problem has always been getting them from my mind onto the page. I always find myself greatly disappointed with the result. It doesn't turn out at all like I envisioned. So I paint over it after getting really aggravated. So, I decided to teach myself to draw with my paintbrush rather than creating a pencil sketch and trying to "stay in the lines". After all, sketching and painting are two completely different mediums. So why try to make one adhere to the other? The subject I've chosen is something that has always captured my amazement. Super-cell thunderstorms. I want to teach myself by the end of June, how to paint ominous clouds that look realistic. I want to make a cloud so scary looking, the viewer can almost feel the straight line winds. Maybe even imagine a funnel dropping at any moment. That's my way of coping with a personal situation that has been the source of great anxiety. I will put the storm and my focus on the canvas. Maybe I can in some Freudian way, gain some strength from this method. I have huge decisions to make. The art will reflect my life for now. All storms pass eventually. I will seed my own clouds.