Artist is state of mind rather than a Title

I have not been doing alot of "Traditional" artwork lately. I have been up at midnight melting things and soldering odds and ends together in a very strange way. I have even carved a juice jug into an odd sort of bouquet. It's not what I thought I would be doing a year ago. I thought by joining the gallery it would be about promoting myself and selling a few things. I am pleased to find that it is so much more than that. It's been about self-discovery, trying new things, pushing myself beyond my comfort level, and trying ut the friendship experience again. I have been closed off for so long trying not to let anyone get too close for fear of being stabbed in the back and hurt again. But I realize, that by isolating myself, I was avoiding the bad stuff that comes along with people, but I was completely missing out on the good that they have to offer. I've always been a bit mystical in my rational, and try to keep myself a step ahead of what people around me are thinking. But having this protective barrier up around me is exhausting. It feels so good to let it drop and trust people again. My friends call me to check on me out of heartfelt concern. They know they will get a call or visit from me if they are down. They encourage me when I kick myself too hard. No one can live by the standard that I hold myself to. And my friends remind me of that. So even though I have not produce3d a large amount of master quality oil paintings or sold a fortune in absolutely ingenius watercolors. I am okay with just being surrounded by like minded people. It's in my mind. It's the way I react or doin't react. It's the dreams I have, the translations I make in my own way. And it's the acceptance of the opinions of others, even if only on a level of filing away for future referrence. An accumulation of knowledge, experience, vision, insight, ignorance and rational. I used to feel strange calling myself an artist. Now I know that there is nothing else I would be more proud to call myself. Artists don't just create images or objects. They foster an intimate understanding and wish to further grow their knowledge of all things. I don't believe any one of us has any answers or knows any secret truth. But it's a state of mind and a willingness to travel the road in pursuit of it. Does any one us really know what forces make us who we are and give us our tendancies? Ho hum, I guess by this rational I could be called many things. So I have come full circle. I am an Artist.....and a slightly insane, rambling,philosphical face in a sea of imagination. And I should stop watching so much Discovery Channel. Thanks for reading.

Too Busy for Art!

It's amazing that I can get anything done as much time as I spend with my head in the clouds. I may have mentioned before that the gallery I belong is doing a recycled art show in June. This is new to me. But I creative enought to pull it off. I used to make dolls from socks and old clothing and costume jewelry. I made all sorts of things out of whatever materials I had. This was because I didn't have the privelege of having store bought art supplies. And I wasn't about to ask for anything. I just made do with what I had. On Wednesday evening I was extremely frustrated as everything I tried was not working out. I burnt my finger on the torch and cut myself with the wire I was attempting to cut. Then I was completely blocked. Nothing is more intimidating than an empty canvas or a clean desk. So Saturday...........I just went at everything I had with a soldering torch and hot glue gun. I cut up old chains, melted plastic silverware and tore up old blue jeans. I even melted a few walmart bags! But, now I have three pieces almost complete. Whether or not I will actually show these at a gallery is yet to be determined. I have to let them sit and just feel them out. They speak to me on some level at this point, but they are not screaming at me just yet. We'll See. However, I am very proud of myself! I overcame my own incessant inner voice. Got past my frustration and decided to just do it! And I did! And the best part is........I have a couple more ideas floatin around upstairs. I will post pictures soon!

Transfering mediums

This amazing thing happens sometimes when I listen to music. It can make me feel immensly emotional (Even if very briefly) to the point of crying, laughing, dancing, singing. I imagine if left alone for too long, I could truly go insane just from the emotional impact of music. I could handle isolation as long as I knew I could re-join society whenever I chose. But the music would push me over the edge. Am I alone in this? Something else affects me in this way. Being alone outdoors. I don't even have to be in a secluded area free from noise. I can stand in my back yard, within ear-shot of the highway and various other sounds and still feel it. It's indescribable. A connection to everything around me. I can smell the air, hear the birds, feel the sun and breeze. That too can make me very emotional. Maybe I'm special, maybe I'm crazy, maybe I don't really care. What I know is that I want to transfer this kind of physical feeling to a canvas. I want to frame the emotion and hang it on the wall for others to feel. I'm no "Tree-Hugger" or whatever the invisible label-givers call them these days. But I do feel as if eveything is connected and sometimes I can feel it. Another level of consiousness maybe? A gift as an artist by which I can Transfer Medium from emotional to 2 or 3 dimensional? Maybe I will find myself on this journey as an artist. Maybe I will find someone else. Maybe I will never know unless I keep going. Life is amazing, even when it's terrible.

My long weekend of Creativity

I came back and finished the day on Thursday so that I could get as much as possible done and relax on my long weekend. I guess I knew there was no other option for me. I am obsessive about getting things done ASAP rather than let them fester. So on Friday, I rested, didn;t do anything! That was non-productive, but nice. Saturday I cleaned the house and began to hunt small momentos while cleaning. Things that could be re-purposed, re-used, born again with a new focus. I may or may not have mentioned before that I have a show coming in June where the focus is recycled art. I have had a huge ancient copy macjine collecting dust on my front porch for nearly a year now. It's too heavy to move and I can't seem to make it function anymore. So now it is in a stage of de-construction. I found mirrors, wheels, magnigying glasses, springs, elecrtical nodes and much much more. I see a face with a looking glass eye. Wires protruding sending signals to the vital finctioning arteries and a digital display read-out where a mouth should be. As programmed as we are these days to compute and speak with programmed precision, it makes perfect sense to me. Then again, it may not to someone else. Sunday I celebrated Easter with my beautiful boys. We played video games the rest of the day until about 5-ish. Then it wasw back out to continue deconstruction. I have a plan now that involves chicken wire, plaster of paris, nodes, wires and if my experiment works, my piece of art may even be battery powered. I can feel the creative energy puling through me like a million cups of coffee. I think there mustbe someone else out there who obsesses over things the way that I do. And maybe not. But it was a great weekend and I am my way to another great piece of art, all my own.

Just Before a Long Weekend

I have a mound of files and papers and scraps of sticky notes, ALL with a task connected, strewn across my desk. Next week I have three meetings for which I have had almost no time to prepare. I can leave early today, and tomorrow is a holiday. But should I leave? Wouldn't the responsible thing be to stay and get done what I can? Decisions, decisions. I am very much looking forward to the long weekend. My boys and I chalk the front walk all the way from the street to the steps in front of the door. This is a tradition I started a few years ago when I couldn't resist the smell of spring anymore. I just had to get outside and create somethig. So, I told the boys that we have to paint the Easter Bunny a pathway so that he knows how to find our house and bring us Easter surprises. They love doing it. This year is the first time they are asking me, "Mommy, when are we chalking the sidewalk?" It makes me feel like I must be doing a good job as a mommy. They remember and enjoy the little things. That's Awesome in an age of video games and instant gratification! And it gets them creating alongside me. Does anyone know the reason for selling sidewalk chalk at Easter time? Is this idea maybe not as original as I think it is? So, you see, I have a million things to do as a responsible executive. If I don't get them done, I look like an idiot and my boss probably would look like an idiot as well. But my brain is already on weekend time. So, do I want to take off early? UHHH, YES! But will I? Probably not. I won't be able to relax on the long weekend if I am worried about the workload upon my return. I better get it gear!

This blogging thing......I don't know

So, now I have blogged. I don't feel any different. I don't have anyone wanting my autograph...LOL. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm Is anyone even aware that this page is here? I choose to draw today rather than blog. More productive and at least there's an audience for it. So, for the one person who may accidently find my blog, Thanks for Reading!

Pastel Powdered Manicure

So, it's raining again. Everything is soppy wet, muddy and the 45 minutes spent fixing my hair this morning was time wasted as even an umbrella is no match for 60 mph thunderstorm gusts. And yet, my hands are awash in chalky powdery mess. I have to deliver 3 pieces to my gallery by Saturday with a beast, animal or insect theme or subject matter. As I usually work in oils as of late, I have no time left to create something. Oils take waaaaaaaay too long to dry. So my first idea was to make papercuts and create a spraypaint masterpiece. No go! My plan was acutely flawed. So, I thought I would do something with pastels. I love the they blend and come alive with just a touch of water in critical areas. But it seems this plan as well is fatally flawed. You see, I have only the chalk pastels and in order to get the degree of detail that evidently I cannot live without, I need the pastel pencils. Living in the area I do, everything is mail ordered. I am having no luck with the messy, manicure killing, big, thick chalk pastels. So I have but one option remaining. I sit down tonight with a big sketchbook, pencils, markers, crayons, watercolors, and anything else that makes a mark and dries quickly. I love to create, but I am really not sure if I like creating on command. My lifelong problem with authority us showing again!