Artist is state of mind rather than a Title

I have not been doing alot of "Traditional" artwork lately. I have been up at midnight melting things and soldering odds and ends together in a very strange way. I have even carved a juice jug into an odd sort of bouquet. It's not what I thought I would be doing a year ago. I thought by joining the gallery it would be about promoting myself and selling a few things. I am pleased to find that it is so much more than that. It's been about self-discovery, trying new things, pushing myself beyond my comfort level, and trying ut the friendship experience again. I have been closed off for so long trying not to let anyone get too close for fear of being stabbed in the back and hurt again. But I realize, that by isolating myself, I was avoiding the bad stuff that comes along with people, but I was completely missing out on the good that they have to offer. I've always been a bit mystical in my rational, and try to keep myself a step ahead of what people around me are thinking. But having this protective barrier up around me is exhausting. It feels so good to let it drop and trust people again. My friends call me to check on me out of heartfelt concern. They know they will get a call or visit from me if they are down. They encourage me when I kick myself too hard. No one can live by the standard that I hold myself to. And my friends remind me of that. So even though I have not produce3d a large amount of master quality oil paintings or sold a fortune in absolutely ingenius watercolors. I am okay with just being surrounded by like minded people. It's in my mind. It's the way I react or doin't react. It's the dreams I have, the translations I make in my own way. And it's the acceptance of the opinions of others, even if only on a level of filing away for future referrence. An accumulation of knowledge, experience, vision, insight, ignorance and rational. I used to feel strange calling myself an artist. Now I know that there is nothing else I would be more proud to call myself. Artists don't just create images or objects. They foster an intimate understanding and wish to further grow their knowledge of all things. I don't believe any one of us has any answers or knows any secret truth. But it's a state of mind and a willingness to travel the road in pursuit of it. Does any one us really know what forces make us who we are and give us our tendancies? Ho hum, I guess by this rational I could be called many things. So I have come full circle. I am an Artist.....and a slightly insane, rambling,philosphical face in a sea of imagination. And I should stop watching so much Discovery Channel. Thanks for reading.